Tag: Homily

No onions

A homily for the Twentieth Sunday in Ordinary Time, August 18, 2024

Prv 9:1-6, Eph 5:15-20, Jn 6:51-58

Here’s a story about how dense I can be sometimes.

The first time I heard the phrase “six-foot sub,” I wasn’t sure if the speaker was talking about a new Navy vessel or a second-string basketball player coming off the bench.

Yes, I knew what a submarine sandwich was (and is); Dad treated my brothers and me to No. 2s from Elsie’s, and later, from Joyce’s, at the start and end of every semester from first grade through high school graduation.

But those ham-and-capicola subs were one-person two-fisted concoctions at six inches, not crowd-feeders at six feet. I just couldn’t see it.

Besides, where would somebody get a roll that big, anyway? That’s a whole lotta bread.

Continue reading No onions

Smorgas

A homily for the Eighteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, August 4, 2024

Ex 16:2-4, 12-15, Eph 4:17, 20-24, Jn 6:24-35

All-you-can-eat buffets are among the most popular topics for cartoonists, animators and stand-up comedians. There probably are a thousand jokes for every item on the line at Golden Corral or China Palace (though I don’t think Red Lobster’s bankruptcy lawyers were laughing at the TikTokers who videoed themselves tossing back 100-plus “unlimited” shrimp).

Usually, the punch line is a variation on a Copious Consumer being shown the door while complaining, “But it says ‘All You Can Eat’!” and the proprietor replying, “That’s right. And I say you’ve eaten all you can eat.”

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More than sum

A homily for the Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, July 28, 2024

2 Kgs 4:42-44, Eph 4:1-6, Jn 6:1-15

Let’s think about numbers for a moment.

Not the Old Testament Book of Numbers; that’s for another day.

No, I’m thinking about how numbers — mathematics and all that — are a big part of our relationship with God.

Because, of course, God created math and science and the laws of nature.

And miracles.

Continue reading More than sum

Insistent

A homily for the Fifteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, July 14, 2024

Am 7:12-15, Eph 1:3-14 or 1:3-10, Mk 6:7-13

Let’s start with a story about how not to evangelize.

When I was in the third grade at St. Leo the Great School in Lincroft, our teachers told us of the great rewards that awaited us in the afterlife if we brought other people into the faith. If we made converts.

Most of us, myself included, expected a shorter stay in Purgatory or, better yet, coconut cream and key lime pies for dessert at every meal in the Heavenly banquet.

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Instant messaging

A homily for the Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, July 7, 2024

Ez 2:2-5, 2 Cor 12:7-10, Mk 6:1-6

“That’s amazing.”

We’ve all probably seen the Consumer Cellular ad in which the lady in the kitchen is talking with the sales rep while the gentleman is jumping into a pool, doing little tricks.

Yet what amazes her, according to the ad, is not the man’s Olympic wannabe diving prowess but the mobile phone’s features and the company’s service.

Apparently proving, once again, that we 21st-century Americans love our high-tech flashy-sparkly-shiny things.

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Not a heavy lift

A homily for the Twelfth Sunday in Ordinary Time, June 23, 2024

Jb 38:1, 8-11, 2 Cor 5:14-17, Mk 4:35-41

The young people among us, and those of us who think we’re still sorta young, know this riddle:

If God is so powerful, can he make a rock so big even he can’t lift it?

I’m pretty sure the answer is yes.

I’m pretty sure the answer is yes — even though it seems confusing — because there’s nothing God can’t do.

Continue reading Not a heavy lift

Suspenders

A homily for the Eleventh Sunday in Ordinary Time, June 16, 2024

Ez 17:22-24, 2 Cor 5:6-10, Mk 4:26-34

Years ago, to help a friend produce her dance school students’ recital, I agreed to appear onstage as a magician — “The Great Badini.” Emphasis on “bad,” as in stumblebum. She sent me to a shop where the proprietor set me up with a few basic tricks and props, tricks even I couldn’t foul up.

I didn’t pull any rabbits out of my hat, but I did learn to pass a massive needle and thread completely and safely through a balloon before intentionally popping it.  And there was this gizmo I held behind my teeth so I could pull yards upon yards of colored handkerchiefs out of my mouth.

As “The Great Badini,” I learned the secrets of making people believe the otherwise unbelievable. And I can still do those tricks.

These days, lots of people can. Make people suspend disbelief, I mean.

Unfortunately, these days it’s more a case of fooling people than persuading people to believe in what’s true and right and good.

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Akin

A homily for the Tenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, June 9, 2024

Gn 3:9-15, 2 Cor 4:13—5:1, Mk 3:20-35

The first time I saw someone talking on a cellphone wearing wireless earbuds, I thought the person was … uh … possibly mentally ill. You see, they weren’t merely having what looked like a conversation with their self; they were arguing.

Loudly. Passionately. Did I mention loudly?

With vigorous hand gestures to no one in sight, some of them NSFW.

As were many of the loud words.

The earbuds were so small that I didn’t spot them right away.

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Palpable

A homily for the Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ (Corpus Christi), June 2, 2024

Ex 24:3-8, Heb 9:11-15, Mk 14:12-16, 22-26

Shortly after our daughter, Erin, was baptized, Andrea and I were asked by our then-parish to join the baptismal prep team. We agreed, figuring we could relate to other young couples and perhaps meet new friends in (unfamiliar) Bergen County.

At one session, the dad scoffed at the whole baptismal process, saying he was in attendance to keep his family happy. “You take the kid to church and you dunk her,” I remember him saying. “Then you go home and everyone eats lasagna.”

He went to a different place of worship, he explained.

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