Welcome to Limbooooo
George Carlin, “Class Clown”
It’s been 47 years since George Carlin riffed on Heaven, Hell, Purgatory and Limbo in front of a crowd in Santa Monica, yet the puzzlement over the last of the four persists.
Perhaps because so many of us are there.
Maybe we’re hanging out with Didi and Gogo, in the vain hope we’ll see Godot one of these days.
Maybe it’s 2 a.m. and nobody told us the Metro stops running at midnight. Or that nobody actually took our order at the late-night Mickey D’s drive-thru, and those folks inside are mopping, not frying.
Maybe our Uber ranking is so low that nobody will pick us up.
Maybe we’re still applying for jobs we know we could do in our sleep.
Limmmmm.
Bohhhh!
Ugh.
Intriguingly, while somebody is in Limbo, they can be in Heaven, Hell or Purgatory simultaneously. Just ask any job-seeker.
Heaven plus Limbo is when you’ve gotten an offer but haven’t started yet and have that long-layoff fear that this isn’t really real.
Purgatory plus Limbo is the interview process, wherein you bare your soul, come clean, repent for possible sins and promise a forthright life ahead.
Hell plus Limbo is rejection, and the Ninth Circle of Hell plus Limbo is being rejected after a full battery of interviews and tests and and and. (Yes, Dante scholars: I know this makes the First and Ninth circles collide. Latitude, please.)
Of course, fans of the tropics are familiar with the notion of limbo as the “how low can you go” contortion game.
Second definition, second metaphor.
For job-seekers, this kind of limbo represents the cataloging of so-called transferable skills. It’s strenuous exercise, and it can stretch the imagination as much as any limbo dancer ever stretched hip flexors.
Backfield editor equals teacher. Copy editor equals proofreader. Reporter equals content creator equals creative writer equals sloganeer equals employee communications specialist.
Except, of course, when they don’t.
Even though, yeah, they do.
For most applicants, their résumés and cover letters are AI-scanned for keywords and buzz phrases the hiring company has specified for the specific position, and if those documents don’t achieve a pre-calculated score … pfffft! Electronic 86’d.
A human with vision can extrapolate and, perhaps, take a flier on a liberal arts grad with a parallel career who could easily change lanes without slowing down.
But no. The Terminator is the new HR gatekeeper.
“We’ll keep your résumé on file in case we have an opening more suited to your experience (or skills or qualifications or interests or bona fides).”
Yeah, that check is in the mail.
So: Limbo.
And: limbo.
How may I use my experience and skills to serve you?