No onions

A homily for the Twentieth Sunday in Ordinary Time, August 18, 2024

Prv 9:1-6, Eph 5:15-20, Jn 6:51-58

Here’s a story about how dense I can be sometimes.

The first time I heard the phrase “six-foot sub,” I wasn’t sure if the speaker was talking about a new Navy vessel or a second-string basketball player coming off the bench.

Yes, I knew what a submarine sandwich was (and is); Dad treated my brothers and me to No. 2s from Elsie’s, and later, from Joyce’s, at the start and end of every semester from first grade through high school graduation.

But those ham-and-capicola subs were one-person two-fisted concoctions at six inches, not crowd-feeders at six feet. I just couldn’t see it.

Besides, where would somebody get a roll that big, anyway? That’s a whole lotta bread.

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Smorgas

A homily for the Eighteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, August 4, 2024

Ex 16:2-4, 12-15, Eph 4:17, 20-24, Jn 6:24-35

All-you-can-eat buffets are among the most popular topics for cartoonists, animators and stand-up comedians. There probably are a thousand jokes for every item on the line at Golden Corral or China Palace (though I don’t think Red Lobster’s bankruptcy lawyers were laughing at the TikTokers who videoed themselves tossing back 100-plus “unlimited” shrimp).

Usually, the punch line is a variation on a Copious Consumer being shown the door while complaining, “But it says ‘All You Can Eat’!” and the proprietor replying, “That’s right. And I say you’ve eaten all you can eat.”

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More than sum

A homily for the Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, July 28, 2024

2 Kgs 4:42-44, Eph 4:1-6, Jn 6:1-15

Let’s think about numbers for a moment.

Not the Old Testament Book of Numbers; that’s for another day.

No, I’m thinking about how numbers — mathematics and all that — are a big part of our relationship with God.

Because, of course, God created math and science and the laws of nature.

And miracles.

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Palpable

A homily for the Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ (Corpus Christi), June 2, 2024

Ex 24:3-8, Heb 9:11-15, Mk 14:12-16, 22-26

Shortly after our daughter, Erin, was baptized, Andrea and I were asked by our then-parish to join the baptismal prep team. We agreed, figuring we could relate to other young couples and perhaps meet new friends in (unfamiliar) Bergen County.

At one session, the dad scoffed at the whole baptismal process, saying he was in attendance to keep his family happy. “You take the kid to church and you dunk her,” I remember him saying. “Then you go home and everyone eats lasagna.”

He went to a different place of worship, he explained.

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